Riverdale - Gayest town in America!!

According to surveys, 10% of the population is gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgendered. In Riverdale, this statistic seems to be much higher.

For example, in the below scene Dilton comes out to Archie, Veronica, Reggie, and Jughead by announcing that he isn't interested in girls. Everyone seems shocked. Everyone that is, except Jughead, who also isn't interested in girls. Hmmm...


OK, so Dilton coming out isn't very shocking. That's about as surprising as Clay Aiken, Lance Bass, and Rosie O'Donnell coming out. If you want to see a slightly more shocking coming out event, check out the time when Jughead outed Betty and Veronica by calling them man-hating sheep as they strolled through the park holding hands.


Come on, everyone knew that Betty and Veronica were a little bi-curious. It's been going on for years.

Finally, in the most shocking coming out story, Archie and Reggie get a gay makeover and reject the physical advances of Betty and Veronica. It all started when Betty and Veronica decided that Archie and Reggie should be more like Roger, their purple jumpsuit-wearing effeminate friend.


Roger GLADLY accepts to give Archie and Reggie makeovers. Just look at those eager smiles on the faces of Archie and Reggie as Roger calls Betty and Veronica to tell them that he needs to spend more time with them.


Finally, they arrive! Archie has a perm and Reggie has an emo cut. Carrying a can of hair spray and wearing their finest ruffles and Nicole Riche sunglasses, they refuse to let Betty or Veronica touch them.


Finally, Mr. Lodge arrives and forces the foursome to go on a date. Alas, Archie and Reggie forego the Bronze Zeppelin rock concert and instead decide to go shopping at the local gay hangout, the Peacock Parlor Male Boutique.


Inside the sausage shop, Archie and Reggie inform Betty and Veronica that they will spend the next two hours shopping. Scorned, Betty and Veronica wait outside where they run into Roger. Suddenly realizing the drawbacks to having gay boyfriends, Betty and Veronica gay bash Roger and storm away.


Well girls, you wanted everyone to be accepting of YOUR lesbianism. I guess you can't have your cake (or insert-bad-joke-here) and eat it too!